If you google “human’s number one fear” more than likely, you’ll find “public speaking” listed as that fear.
AND….when you peel back the layers, it’s not that people are afraid of public speaking, they are really afraid of being negatively evaluated…
which leads to a deeper fear of being rejected for not being good enough…
which ultimately leads to a deep fear of not belonging.
When we have the fear of not being good enough, therefore, not belonging we;
I don’t know about you but when I was DEEP in this state, it was not an enjoyable life by any stretch of the imagination yet it seemed as if it was a black hole I couldn’t climb out of.
Eventually, I did grow beyond it ~ here’s what worked for me (I say “what worked for me” because there are so many tools that may help you that I don’t even know about!)
1. See This “Feeling” as a Thought, Instead of a Feeling
A feeling is something that automatically happens because of a thought.
For example, if we see a BIG black bear running towards us, our body automatically feels the danger and goes into flight mode because we have the thought “oh crap, I’m going to die if he catches me, I need to run”
After you are safe from the bear, you would never think “I’m so stupid for feeling afraid and running away from that bear.”
You, of course, would be grateful that you had the thought “oh crap, I’m going to die if he catches me, I need to run”.
The “feeling” of “I’m not good enough” isn’t a feeling at all, it is a thought….actually, it’s a judgment from our inner critic who’s intentions are to protect you from perceived danger (not belonging).
Unfortunately, it backfires and does exactly what it thinks it thinks it’s protecting you from.
When we can recognize that the “I’m not good enough” is a thought from the inner-critic and explore what it needs to feel a sense of safety and belonging we are on our way to creating a sense of deep connection with ourselves.
2. Release What’s Blocking You From Connecting to Yourself
The one sure-fire way to never wrestle with this fear again is to have a powerful sense of belonging to yourself.
Author, Speaker and Researcher Brene’ Brown says this about belonging:
“True belonging is the spiritual practice of believing in and belonging to yourself so deeply that you can share your most authentic self with the world and find sacredness in both being a part of something and standing alone in the wilderness. True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are.”
It wasn’t until 2015 that I began to experience this connection.
Even though I had been in this world of personal development for 15 years at that point, I still felt disconnected and stuck.
When a friend who was getting certified in the Body Code (a form of energy medicine that I now practice) asked is she could release my Heart-Wall I thought she was ABSOLUTELY NUTS when she described it to me but I thought “what do I have to lose, nothing else has worked so far!”
She explained that a Heart-Wall is a wall of emotional energy the subconscious mind creates to protect you and your heart against heartache and pain.
I agreed to let her do this (still thinking she was crazy) and, to my amazement, it was the first time I felt this heaviness on my chest lift.
I began to understand that when we have trapped emotions and trauma inside of us, it’s like a cloud cover that doesn’t allow us to see the sun shining.
If the clouds continually build and never seem to go away, it’s easy to go down into a slump and forget what it’s like when the sun is shining.
In order to connect back to yourself, you need to get rid of the cloud cover—aka release trapped emotions and trauma stuck in your body.
The Heart-Wall is made up of layers of trapped emotional energy called “trapped emotions” that when they are released you may feel:
This is what one of my clients said after we released her Heart-Wall:
I’ve done a lot of work over the years on myself. I’ve always been so hard on myself, even the past few years when I was “working” on being less hard on myself, I was actually still being really hard on myself.
Suddenly, I feel like my own ally, my best friend. I realized this is because of releasing my Heart-Wall. It’s like a miracle!
I hear things like this over and over from clients after we’ve released their Heart-wall when we go through their after assessments ~ they can’t believe how much more connected to themselves they feel and how empowered they feel in their lives because of it.
Releasing the cloud cover of trauma and heartache truly allows us to connect back to ourselves again, eliminating the struggle of “I’m not good enough”.
On this week’s Energy-Releasing Call I’ll check to see:
Monday, February 3rd at 8 pm EST
( I’ll do my best to work with as many people as possible to release trapped emotions so that you can be on your way to being 100% alignment with yourself)
Can’t Make the Call?
No worries ~ if this is before 8 pm EST on Monday, February 3rd, shoot me an email ([email protected]) with your first/last name, age.
Depending on how many people are on the call, I’ll check to see how aligned you are with yourself and if you have a heart-wall that’s preventing that alignment.
If I can get to you on the call, I’ll do the work then I’ll email you with what was released.
If this is after that time, here’s a link to my calendar to set up a time to talk about how we can work together to get you in alignment with who you desire to be.
Your favorite energy coach,