Dealing with the Real F-Word (Fear)

What are you afraid of?

When I was growing up, I was afraid of seemingly everything.

I never wanted to try anything new.

I hated when my parents sent me off to camp (and then hated having to leave camp).

I sat in a corner of my 1st and only violin lesson because I was afraid.

And, like most, public speaking was definitely out of the question!

The world was just a scary place. 

Thankfully, I've worked through those childhood fears but I know that for many of us, fear still lingers when we don't want it to.


This week (blog post to come tomorrow) we’re going to look at:

* What fear is
* What causes it
* How it shows up in our lives
* How to grow beyond it

What is Fear

We all know what fear feels like….

* sweating
* trembling
* Shortness of breath
* Rapid heartbeat
* Butterflies in the stomach

But what is it exactly?

When we strip fear down, it is a response in the body that comes when it feels unsafe.

If you are walking in the woods and see a large black bear running towards you and fear causes you to run, it is a friend.

But, if you are wanting to make changes in your life and fear paralyzes you, it is your foe.

Fear is energy from a belief that we are unsafe that the majority of us have practiced the most and have been ingrained in us the most.

From the time we were kids were told to:

* be afraid of strangers
* Be afraid of Santa not coming if we are bad
* Be afraid of being punished if we don’t get good grades

In many ways, we inherited family fears…

* of money
* of being successful
* of our bodies
* of certain environments

"Fears are educated into us, and can if we wish to be educated out.”
Karl Agustus Menninger

And, the media doesn’t help either basically telling us we need every new shot, processed food, and medicine that’s on the market.

It’s no surprise that most people are fatigued, sick and not happy in their lives as the energy of fear is exhausting.

What Causes Fear

Put most simply:

"Fear comes from uncertainty. When we are absolutely certain, whether, of our worth or worthlessness, we are almost impervious to fear."
William Congreve

Every emotion that we experience is energy.

If we do not fully experience the energy when the body is feeling it, it becomes stuck in our body (most people shut down when they experience fear so it doesn’t get moved out of the body).

Once it is stuck in our body, that energetic frequency becomes a pattern and goes on auto-pilot constantly looking for things that match that frequency….meaning, it’s looking for things to be afraid of.

How Fear Shows Up In Our Lives

As you are reading this, you may be saying, “Heather, I’m not really afraid of anything” and, that may be true.

I want to touch on a few ways fear shows up in our lives that we may not think of.

Fear of being true to yourself or being imperfect
Most people wrestle with the thought, “If I am 100% truly myself, will I still be accepted? Is it really safe to fully be me?”

Just about every client I work with also wrestles with the belief that they aren’t perfect or good enough for their world…which means they are unlovable.

Common thoughts:
“It’s not safe to be me”
“No one will accept me if I’m fully me”
“I have nothing to offer the world”
“In order to be loved, I need to be perfect"

Fear of Not Having Control of Your Life
When we believe that things will not be okay unless they go
exactly as we want or think we need something in particular to
be happy, we experience fear.

Common thoughts:
“The world is not safe”
“I’m only safe if I have control”
“I need to get more ___because there isn’t enough to go around”
“I can’t handle life”
“What is wrong with me?”

Fear of Allowing Other People to Be Who They Are
Attempting to control your own life is one thing, attempting to
control someone else’s is even more maddening!

Common thoughts:
* "I can be happy when others to behave a certain way."
* “ I feel good when I get validation from others."
* “I know I’m exhausted but they NEED my help"
* “It’s my job to help them see they need help"
* “The world is only safe if I control others"

Fear of Pain and Suffering
No one likes to experience pain and suffering but we tend to also live in those states by fearing to experience them.

What this could look like:

Fear of A Future Loss

This is when we project losing something in the future, like a
mother dropping off her son at Kindergarten and crying because
one day he’s going to leave her for college.

Fear of Getting Less Than You Believe You Deserve
This is when we have the belief that others, the world are giving
us less than we think that we deserve (like a future raise that
hasn’t even come up in review yet).

Fear of “Never"
This is when we have the fear that something will never happen in our lives….like getting married, or having kids or living the life we desire.

The one thing most of us forget about pain and suffering is that they can be amazing experiences of growth and expansion into even better versions of ourselves.

Common thoughts:
“I can handle the suffering”
“If I’m not suffering, the other shoe will drop”
“It’s my job in life to suffer”
“If I don’t think about what’s going to happen in the future now and worry about it, it will happen"


How to Grow Beyond It

As I mentioned, there are times when fear can be good as it’s positive intention is to keep us safe.

In order to grow beyond living in a state of fear, we need to do two things.

1. Remove the Energy From The Body

Fear is an energetic frequency that has become lodged in the body.

In order to stop the pattern, we need to go into the subconscious and release all of the trapped energies, trauma’s and beliefs that are perpetuating the pattern (this is where using the energy-medicine system called “The Body Code” comes in and what I do with all of my clients).

2. Reprogram the Fear Response
Once the trapped energy is released from the body, we have to retrain the thought processes that are perpetuating the beliefs.

There are a zillion tools to reprogram the body ~ here are a couple of the quickest.

Breath-work—When you feel yourself moving into a state of fear, decide to consciously breathe.

Box Breathing is one of the simplest to remember —
Breath in for 5
Hold for 5
Exhale for 5
Hold for 5

4-7-8 Breathing- is from Dr. Andrew Weil (a pioneer in holistic health).
Breath in for 4
Hold for 7
Exhale for 8

This one is great because of the long exhale, which helps to calm the nervous system.

The Golden Questions

More often than not, we don’t take the time to even question what we are thinking…which can really get us into trouble.

Byron Katie (author of “Loving What is”) gives these questions that can literally shift your thought process in a short amount of time.

Is it true?
What do I feel, experience and become like when I believe this thought?
If this thought didn’t exist, how would I feel, behave and experience life?

Asking this question helps to break the pattern in your mind and build a new one that you’ll probably enjoy more than the pattern of fear.

Thymus Tapping
Dr. John Diamond (another pioneer in holistic health) says the thymus serves as a link between mind and body.

Sitting over the heart in the upper part of the chest, behind the breastbone the powerful thymus gland is responsible for making T-cells, which are vital to the healthy function of the immune system. It’s one that I see come up for many of my clients when we are clearing energy.

Tapping the thymus gland is simple to do and can balance your emotions while you are breathing and asking these questions.

As you do the Breathwork, using your fingertips, tap your fingers ~ it’s that easy!

Energy-Releasing Call

On this week’s energy-releasing event, we’ll work talk about the above and then work on releasing fear from the body so that you can step more confidently into 2020.

If you’d like to release some stuff that’s preventing you from experiencing your desires, join me Monday, January 13th at 8 pm EST on Zoom or streaming on my personal FB page ( 🤞🏼technology does what it says it will do).

I’ll do my best to work with as many people as possible to release trapped emotions that are keeping you in a state of fear.

Can’t Make the Call?

No worries ~ if this is before 8 pm EST on Monday, January 13th, shoot me an email ([email protected]) with your first/last name, age and a specific fear you have.

Make sure that it is very specific ~

~ meaning, “I am afraid I’m not good enough for someone to love me” or “I’m afraid of losing my loved ones” vs. “I want to release all fear”~

we’ll release more if you are very specific about what it is you desire.

If I can get to you on the call, I’ll do the work then I’ll email you with what was released.

If this is after that time, here’s a link to my calendar to set up a time to talk about how we can work together to release the fear from your body so you can come from a place of love and joy.

Your favorite energy coach,


P.S. Is there something specific you’d like me to work on during these calls? Shoot me an email ([email protected]) with what it is and I’ll add it to the list!


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