How I Went From "I Want to Die" to "I Want to Live"

blue body code depression emotion code energy healing sad sugar trapped emotions trauma Dec 22, 2019

“I want to die”

These were the exact words I thought in December of 2005.

I recently quit my first job as a therapist at a group home for adolescent girls.

My lease was up on the house I was renting and since I quit my job and didn’t know what I was going to do, I moved back in with my parents (God bless them for letting me move back in!).

I had ZERO ideas about what I wanted to do with my life.AND, even though I was diagnosed with pre-diabetes, I was eating every sugary thing in site ~ it was the holiday season after all, isn’t that what you are supposed to do???

I got to a point where I literally could not get out of bed ~ my body felt as if it had cement running slugging through it.

Each morning I woke up even more exhausted than I did when I went to bed.

To say that I felt pretty sh*tty would be an understatement.

Ok, I do know that this was a 1st world problem and others have had way sh*ttier experiences…And, this was my reality and wanting to die was all I could think about.

I thought about my nieces and nephew and how I didn’t want to have them say: “I had a cool aunt but she killed herself” (my mom’s sister, whom I never met, took her own life, I experienced the effect of suicide on a family).

I remembered reading something about how sugar caused depressions and I made a deal with myself ~ I said:

“Don’t eat sugar for a week and see how you feel; if you feel better, it’s worth exploring; if you don’t feel better, you can end your life…but what’s one more week of feeling miserable?”

Clearly (since I’m writing to you…otherwise this would be really freaky), I felt better.

I didn’t feel 100% by the end of the week, but there was a noticeable difference and I realized I was onto something they never taught in grad school for counseling, it was the beginning of my journey in wanting to live.

That started my journey into eating healthier, making lifestyle changes and eventually understanding that EVERYTHING comes down to how we manage our energy.

Our energy is impacted by many things, the biggest of which are:

* What we eat/drink
* What we think
* What memories & emotions are stuck in our bodies

I got out of my depression by changing my diet and lifestyle...AND, releasing trapped emotions & trauma is what keeps me in a state of not ever wanting to feed myself that way again.

On tonight’s Monday night energy-releasing call we are going to focus on trapped emotions that are causing you to feel sad, depressed and down.

This time of year, especially, it’s easy to go into those funks ~ partly because there is so much sugar around us (did you know that each ingestion of sugar = 4-5 hours of a suppressed immune system???) and partly because of the pressures of the holidays (family/finances/food).

If you are struggling with feeling down, sad or blue, this call is for you.

We’ll release trapped emotions that are keeping you in a funk….so that you can have a holiday you want to remember!

If you’d like to have some trapped emotions released, join us on Zoom or you can watch it streaming on my personal FB page:

If you can’t make it ~ feel free to email me your full name and age before 8 pm 12/9/19 and I’ll add you to the list to work on (I can’t promise I’ll get to everyone but will do my best to get to everyone) and you can watch the replay later!

(This pic is from January of 2006, after deciding to live, I had decided to vacation with a friend in Thailand ~ being there, without processed American food was a game-changer for me in learning that I there were so many other foods I could eat without feeling deprived).

Your favorite energy coach,



P.S. Did you miss last week’s call?
If you are the 1 out of 5 that suffers from Anxiety this is for you Learn what Anxiety really is and the faster way to release what's causing it!

Click here to watch it 🙂


P.S.S. Have you seen Frozen 2 yet?

I was beyond impressed with it ~ the number of amazing messages in it astounded me....that's not something I say often about a movie!

If you are looking for a night, it's definitely not just for kids!

If you have seen it, I'd love to hear what you thought about it. Loved it? Hated it? I want to hear!